Skip to main content »
Igorotage

10 Reasons Why Igorots Are So Good in English

Here are the reasons why Igorots are so good in English.

Admit it or not, the Igorots are better English speakers. They are good English speakers whether they are starting a conversation or cursing someone over the phone.

Here are the reasons why Igorots are so good in English. Just do not believe in these reasons because once again, this is a satirical post.

1. Igorots are not Filipinos; they are Americans.

In fact, the Cordillera Administrative Region (CAR) is going to be a candidate to become a state of the US once the autonomy dream materializes. To know more information about this, please contact Mountain Province officials.

2. When Igorot babies are born, they speak English instantly.

The first statement they do when they open their eyes is while still inside the delivery room is:

"Are you sure you're my father?"

3. Scientific and astrologic studies have proven that the cold weather makes it easier for a person to speak in English.

Thus, call centers in warm areas like Metro Manila need to invest in air conditioning machines from wagwagan centers operated by people from the Yanganaut region in Sagada.

4. The love of Country Music in Igorots makes their English skills more enhanced.

No famous country song is written in Italian, French or Indian. Garth Brooks and Taylor Swift are Americans; they do English.

5. Strawberry and sayote contain an undiscovered element that hurts the tongue of Igorots whenever they speak in Filipino.

Thus, they become at ease when they speak in English.

Antero, the English-speaking Igorot Sensation of the 1904 World's Fair

6. When Igorots speak in Filipino while chewing momma, their saliva turns yellow.

Since they do not want to be accused of supporting President Noynoy Aquino, they maintain their reddish saliva by speaking in English.

7. Igorots were cursed by God to speak a language that will not be understood by those who did not do well in school.

All Igorots have studied under the K to 12 Program of the Department of Education.

8. In the Cordilleras, people can buy "verb", "adjectives" and "pronoun".

Students spend the money of their parents buying those items that are always on sale inside the Nevada Square in Baguio. Parents of school kids sell their carabao to buy "adverb of place."

9. Igorots are Anglicans.

They do not communicate with God in Latin. They speak the language of King Henry VIII and Queen Elizabeth I. If they were alive during Bloody Mary's reign, they should have head-hunted the cruel Catholic Queen.

10. Igorots are world-class.

Thus, they speak the international language.

Which of the above-listed reasons is true to you?

Original post of Christian Lizardo Aligo

Born Igorot, Die Igorot


Sharing is caring, kailian!

We do hope you find something great in this story. If you find this helpful, please do share it with the people you care about.


Igorotage is a platform for people to share their thoughts and ideas. The views expressed on Igorotage are the opinions of the individual users, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Igorotage.

Comments

Sign in to share your thoughts. No account yet?

What to learn next?

You might also like to read more related articles filed under Satire — or jump to a random article!

Satire Surprise me

PCPT John Paul Balliyao Agod: Igorot tops SAF Basic Airborne Course

PCPT John Paul Balliyao Agod, Igorot from Kalinga, tops Special Action Force (SAF) Basic Airborne Course.

Apr 22, 2021 · 2 min read

Igorot Woman Marries Ford Raptor in Viral Love Story That Will Melt Your Heart

Igorot woman Anya marries Ford Raptor in unconventional love story that has gone viral.

Jun 28, 2023 · 3 min read

Lydia Langpawen: Igorot Weaver wins World Competition of Excellent Crafts

Lydia Langpawen, an Igorot weaver from Mountain Province, wins World Crafts Council Asia-Pacific Region Competition of Excellent Crafts.

Apr 30, 2021 · 3 min read

Meg Daupan: First Filipino to Earn an NRaE Master's Degree from the University of Michigan

Meg Daupan, an Igorot woman, is the first Filipino to earn a master's degree in Natural Resources and Environment from the University of Michigan.

Mar 28, 2021 · 3 min read

Josephine Lay-os: Igorot is 3rd Place in 2023 National Search for Outstanding Rural Women

Josephine Lay-os, Igorot from Sagada, shines as 3rd place winner in the 2023 National Search for Outstanding Rural Women.

Dec 15, 2023 · 3 min read

Igorot vs Cordilleran: What's the Difference (and Why It Matters)

Igorot and Cordilleran are often used interchangeably, but they have distinct cultural meanings. Learn about the differences between these labels.

Nov 10, 2023 · 14 min read

Igorota Lawyer Wins PRC Outstanding Professional of the Year in Social Work

Mary Inglay Capuyan-Fokno, an Igorota lawyer, has been named Outstanding Professional of the Year in Social Work by the PRC.

Nov 9, 2023 · 2 min read

Kabunian and the Deities in Igorot Culture: Exploring Igorot Gods

Explore the enchanting world of Igorot deities, where Kabunian, the supreme deity, reigns supreme.

Oct 30, 2023 · 20 min read

Igorot Funeral Traditions and Burial Customs

Discover the rich and unique funeral traditions and burial customs of the Igorot people of the Cordilleras in this comprehensive guide.

Oct 29, 2023 · 21 min read

Gibran Langbayan: The First Igorot Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Black Belt

Meet Gibran Langbayan, the first Igorot BJJ Black Belt champion and Lions Nation MMA trainer, and witness his profound impact on Philippine MMA.

Oct 23, 2023 · 4 min read